As you get older, there is a tendency to hold on as we perceive that things are slipping away. We fight against the relentless entropy of life. All that we love appears to fall away. The hair goes, the teeth fall out—you know the drill. But it gets worse. We lose the people that we love—people that we have cared about and who have given us love, wisdom, companionship and stability.
In addition, we hold on to the trophies that we (or those who we love) have accumulated in this life. In one sense, a resume is a visible collection of our awards for hard-earned efforts and the trophies of those efforts. These things are valuable but fade away before our very eyes. We are like a person being shot off on a rocket into outer space watching that which we love grow dimmer and dimmer behind us.
Recently, I tried for the third time to clean out our garage by throwing away our deceased daughter’s karate trophies. There were many of them. Honestly, I could not do it. Those trophies had been earned by her hard efforts and by ours. She had drilled many hours. Janene and I spent many hours in the dojo as she practiced and spent many week-ends watching as she participated in many tournaments and won awards. She worked hard and it paid off. She had numerous trophies where she had won by being best of all age groups from child to adult in Karate competitions. The trophies represented her efforts and they also represented a lot of time which we spent together.
So when it came time for the trophies to go after her death, I simply could not do it without the help of our oldest daughter, Julie. I had carted the trophies around a long time and from house to house. It seemed to me somehow that letting the trophies go was somewhat like letting Addi go—but then she had already gone and the trophies were not Addi. She was, and is, much more important than old trophies falling apart from age. By the way, Janene and I did keep a few of her medals and a photograph of her with her trophies because we do want to remember her accomplishments and pass down a few remembrances to other generations.
Janene and I have other trophies that we have not dealt with yet. My aunt, Lois, was one of the first female attorneys in the State and after her death we kept her law degree hanging next to my law degree. (Trophies from two generations). Janene has the Medical Degree of Sanford Loftis, one of her relatives, who died as a Medical Missionary to China. It is a valuable trophy which he left behind to follow Christ.
So it was not surprising that I found myself humming this morning an old song written by George Bennard in 1912 called “The Old Rugged Cross.” The refrain of that old hymn goes:
So I’ll cherish the old rugged Cross
Til my trophies, at last, I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it someday for a crown.
Please, don’t get me wrong. I understand well the need to hold on to some of the trophies that we have in life. They are associated with great efforts and with loving memories. But—don’t hold too tight. Grief may be a place to visit, but it sickens those who reside there too long. Ultimately, our God is a God of Hope and Life not of grief and despair.
An old friend of mine from my work days would often say: “Remember, Ernie, hearses don’t have trailer-hitches.” They don’t and there is no room in the coffin to take too much with you. So, loosen up. Don’t hold on so tightly. God’s love will hold you and sustain you. The spirit is small but indestructible and the Holy Spirit can never be taken from you. Jesus told Mary and Martha that he was “The Life” and “The Resurrection,” and He meant it.
Paul wrote about all of this in 1 Cor. 7:29-31:
29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
So, take a deep breath. It is OK. God loves you and will care for you. Don’t hold on too tight. You can’t take the trophies with you. They will only hold you back. Lighten up. God has a destiny and a future for you and you are more than your trophies.
